Hello fellow hand foot and mouth survivors,
Welcome to today’s newsletter. We have so much to get to. But first … today’s connections.
Name drops today: Chi Chi Rodriguez, Jack Whaley, Mike Tirico, Tiger Woods, Shaun Norris and the Civil War.
Today’s newsletter is presented by Turtlebox.
I am going to show you two Data Golf skill profiles, and I promise this is connected to our friends at Turtlebox. Here’s the first one.
We’ll call this one the Original (Gen 3).
And here’s the second one. We’ll call this the Cub.
The point is … these two skill profile charts are almost indistinguishable. If you look closely, yes, the one on the top is someone who is slightly longer off the tee and a bit better around the greens. But the person on the bottom is as good of an iron player (if not better) and a great putting comp.
There are probably better ways to describe the relationship of Turtlebox’s new Cub speaker to its original models, but I’m pretty sure the reason you come to this newsletter is for comps exactly like this one.
Turtlebox’s Cub is the newest addition to their waterproof outdoor speaker lineup. Coming in at 5.5 lbs. (or half an Akshay Bhatia), the Cub delivers big sound in a cube-shaped design.
The Cub is adequate for up to 20 people, has a 14-hour battery life, and connects with all the other Turtlebox speakers. Packs light, hits heavy and checks in at just $330.
It is the “wait, this second skill chart is basically the same as the first even though the first is six-time major champion Rory McIlroy’s and the second is not” product of the outdoor speaker world.
I’ll give you the second chart answer at the very bottom of the newsletter.
Alright, now on to the news.
Tricks of the trade: Now you see me…
If you haven’t seen Gary Woodland’s post-round interview from Sunday, you should watch it. It’s short but incredibly affecting and quite human.
Obviously much has been written and said about Woodland’s journey over the last few years. Brain surgery, PTSD, trying to play pro golf in the middle of all of that.
He won earlier this year and on Sunday, after finishing T4 at Bellerive, qualified for his first Tour Championship since 2019 (the year he won the U.S. Open).
His interview with Amanda above was terrific, so good. But I also loved his off screen quotes, where he gave an almost perfect description of what I believe courage to be.
… It was just a lot going on yesterday. There were drones over my head, and with where I'm at right now when I hear that stuff I got to back away and make sure that's not a threat, and that's a tough situation.
I tried to block it out, and today I knew I couldn't do that again. Today I tried to embrace it, tried to be proud of myself, tried to enjoy it. And I did a lot better job of that today.
Gary Woodland
I love the phrase, “I tried to be proud of myself.” How rarely do I do that (and when I do, it’s often an outsized, undeserved pride).
We often think of courage as the removal of fear. But that’s not courage, that’s either ignorance or stupidity. Courage, instead, is steadfastness when faced with fear.
Gary Woodland cannot erase the fears he has in his life right now. But he can lean into them, embrace them, try to enjoy the process and try to be proud of himself. That is probably true of a lot of us as well. We can’t change or amend the fears we have about innumerable threats in our lives (real or imagined), but we can muster up some courage, be proud of who we are and remain faithful in their presence.
I was inspired by Woodland’s willingness to do that after his performance on Sunday (and throughout this entire year).
New segment here that I stole from my favorite fantasy football pod, which is basically just saying things out loud that you are surprised popped into your head while watching or thinking about golf. I italicized my actual thought, the commentary afterward is not italicized.
• Do I … [gulp] … do I kind of like Wyndham Clark? Listen, there are a lot of problems. The flying cubs, the destroyed lockers, the matted down rough and on and on we could go.
And I don’t think I’m trying to be friends with him, but I do respect both the singular pursuit of greatness as well as the ability to handle all the noise with some amount of grace. I think about this moment from Shinnecock with Mike Tirico often, and he said some version of this again on Sunday in St. Louis.
I know everyone maybe gives me a hard time and roots for other people, but I feel like I've kind of come into my own.
Wyndham Clark
Yes, maybe swallowing the fallout from your own mistakes is as admirable as going poo poo on the potty, but he has continually done it, even when the hate has gone beyond what he’s probably deserved. I wrote more about how we should feel about him during the U.S. Open this year. I still feel personally conflicted when it comes to rooting for him, but that thought did pop in my head as I watched on Sunday.
• The fan reception in St. Louis is a good argument against my point that the Tour should maybe just stay at the usual spots it goes to. The Western Open (I’ll exclusively call it the BMW once BMW sponsors us) has been pretty good at engendering this no matter where it goes (Olympia Fields also comes to mind).
On the flip side of the “wait, do I actually like Wyndham?” argument …
On the 14th hole on Sunday, Wyndham went to multiple clubs in the rough and tested the club behind the ball nearly 10 times (full video here).
Trevor Immelman: "He's taking a long look at this. This is like the third club he's placed down behind the ball there."
Frank Nobilo: "So the lie might be better."
Wyndhm is far from the only player who does this, but he is certainly a repeat potential offender of Rule 8.1b (4).
In preparing for or making a stroke, a player may take any of these actions and there is no penalty even if doing so improves the conditions affecting the stroke:
(4) Ground the club lightly right in front of or right behind the ball. “Ground the club lightly” means allowing the weight of the club to be supported by the grass, soil, sand or other material on or above the ground surface.
But this does not allow:
Pressing the club on the ground, or …
USGA
This is not cut and dry because — as is true with golf’s anchoring problem — it’s impossible to tell how much force the player is putting on the club. This means that an external party subjectively measuring what it means to “press the club on the ground” is a ridiculous proposition, which is part of the reason players are supposed to call their own fouls to begin with.
However, this only emboldens my take from The Open that each group should have a referee who can call fouls in the flow of the game. Would be absolutely insane, but at this point, so is the constant wondering whether guys are purposefully and willfully pushing the envelope or whether they have just done things like this for so long that they no longer think about it. I can promise the presence of a referee who calls penalties as you go would shift that line back to what we would all consider a more reasonable place though.
[Jason here] to accentuate that first point about willfully pushing the envelope … You could say his Darth Vader comments after the BMW (normal sentence) are a sign that he's taking the label of heel as a free pass to habitually step near or sometimes over the line. Also, bring on the Angel Hernandez of golf! [Jason out]
… now you see me better.
1. The No. 1 player in the world and best golfer since Tiger Woods has been upended by the following situations over the last three years.
• An over-exuberant Louisville policeman who arrested him.
• A wine glass used as a rolling pin for homemade ravioli.
• Hand foot and mouth disease during a $20 million tournament.
Sure.
I got the hand, foot, mouth.
Scottie Scheffler
“I got the hand, foot and mouth” sounds like how a Civil War soldier might begin a letter to his wife and family back home, not how the No. 1 golfer in the world speaks after a year-end playoff event.
So you get blisters on your hands and in your throat and on your feet. So to start the week it was pretty painful to grip the club. If I was smarter maybe I would have pulled out, but I was playing so good I felt like if I could knock it out quickly and just get through the first couple rounds I would still have a chance.
Scottie Scheffler
Very normal stuff.
2. On the Euro Tour, Shaun Norris was given a two-shot penalty for kicking a divot. A real sentence. The amusing part (although probably not to him!) is that he was penalized under the same rule that should apply to Wyndham Clark’s 9-iron pogo sticking: Rule 8.1.
Here it is.
Except in the limited ways allowed in Rules 8.1b, c and d, a player must not take any of these actions if they improve the conditions affecting the stroke:
(3) Alter the surface of the ground, including by:
Replacing divots in a divot hole,
Removing or pressing down divots that have already been replaced or other cut turf that is already in place, or
Creating or eliminating holes, indentations or uneven surfaces.
USGA
I guess the argument here is that because Norris’ right foot was standing on the divot, it does relate to “conditions affecting the stroke” and thus he must be penalized. It is wild to me that moving “cut turf that is already in place” is punishable in every country in the world, but if the strip of grass was just sitting there in a random spot in the fairway and not back in its divot, you would be fine? How many sporting outcomes are so affected by what surface the 1mm roots of a strip of grass are resting on?!
Endless usage.
• When the cap table comes in and it wasn’t what you wanted.
• When the Good Good collab was supposed to drop on Monday.
• When you realize the Crown Prince built your contract in riyals.
[Jason here] it does bring to mind another superstar of sorts.
As always, some good ones this week.
I howled at “my passion was Chi Chi Rodriguez’s equipment deal.”
/Scene
That one from Patty Mac didn’t get enough love. Excellent remix of a years-old trope.
This jewel from Holderness and Bourne is immediately in my rota. Roberto Castro once told me that the H&B Maxwell is the best golf shirt ever made, and I concur. If you’ve never worn one, you should check out this one.
Thank you for reading our algorithm-free newsletter. That second skill profile above? Presidents Cupper (and future Ryder Cupper) Chris Gotterup.
Don’t forget about referrals below, and please avoid hand, foot and mouth as your children enter back into school and daycare.
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